screamingeagles | VIDEO_DIARY

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VIDEO_DIARY_001 [ video ]

[The feed opens to reveal BLU Soldier's upside down face, or what you could see of it through the ridiculously waving blades of long grass that he had attach to his helmet. Camouflage pro right here. Judging by the amount of shade he was sitting in and the tree he had his back to, the man was probably hiding somewhere as well.]

Attention, video diary! It is day one, hour... [Soldier looks around, then at the upside down device, trying to find the time] ... hour-some-time-before-lunch, and I have already encountered HOSTILES! Guerrilla forces were waiting to AMBUSH me when I walked into the tall grass!

[The feed is turned sloppily to show the tall grass just outside of Bark Town with Soldier's pokemon Spy standing in the distance next to it, all still upside down. Noticing Soldier turn to him, the Sawk waved a little before the device was turned back to Soldier's face.]

I don't know if this is a training routine, or some sort of test, but by GOD I will find the sonofabitch who leads these ladies playing dress-up-like-weird-creatures and teach him how to fight like a REAL MAN! Hiding and ambushing is for spineless cowards like Spy or Sniper!

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[Canada was just starting on the route when he overhears this coming from the... tree nearby? Wherever he's hiding okay!! But yes, Maple is held in his arms, clinging to him and he pauses at the commotion.]

Eh? Did somebody say ambush...?

[Soldier stares up at Canada just standing there, hugging his teddy bear of a pokemon... then addresses Maple directly:]

You better beware of tall grass, Teddy Roosevelt, the enemy's practicing the cowardly art of AMBUSHING in there!

E-enemy?!

[Canada's replying even if he's not sure why Teddy Roosevelt of all names--! Oh wait, his bear.

...He's going to approach Soldier now that he sees more clearly where it came from.]

Are you from around here, mister?

[WHERE DID THIS MAN COME FROM? He must be the enemy kidnapping Teddy Roosevelt! Soldier wastes no time in attempting to tackle Canada]

SCREAMIN' EAGLES!

Whoa, w-waaaaaiiiit!!

[Canada tries to scramble away, Maple jumping out of his arms and to the side as he does. But Soldier catches his feet and so the both go flying to the ground.]

What are you doing?!

Stopping YOU from kidnapping Teddy Roosevelt!

[Soldier waves at Maple meaningfully:] Run away, Mr. President! America needs you!

[Now, pointing a threatening finger at Canada:] I've got your feet now, MAGGOT! Now, who are you working for! Where am I! What is the meaning of life, and why are there people dressed as colorful alien animals!

H-he's here?!

[America?! Where?! But he sort of leans back and away from that finger. ...As best as he can on the ground, at least.]

W-w-wait! I don't want any fight, eh! I'm Canada, and that's Maple! He was here when I arrived... Why are you asking such strange questions!

[... what.]

You're...

[What.]

You're... Canada?

[WHAT.]

Well that explains why you don't got any FIGHT in you! Too damn nice and too busy chugging maple syrup with the hippies.

[In a flash, Soldier was on his feet, staring down at Canada.]

You probably don't even know what's going on either, do you!

H-hey! I can defend myself just fine!

[He gets up and waves his arm a bit defensively. Maple wanders back towards him, staring up at Soldier.]

I really don't know much of what's going on though, eh...

[Soldier didn't hear the last bit of whatever Canada said as he stared back at Maple, then shook his fist at his own Pokemon still waiting in the distance.]

What are you doing over there, Spy! I could have been fighting the enemy and you're over there having a tea party with the tall grass!

[The Sawk simply stared back, then pointed off into the distance, as if indicating where to go.]

Useless Frenchie... Well, looks like it's just you and me, Teddy Roosevelt, vs. a sick man with an army of ladies playin' dress-up games who got us into this mess.

[Oh yeah, Canada's there.]

Oh... and you can come along too. We'll need someone as bait for the ambushes!

Edited 2012-08-22 04:35 (UTC)

His name is Maple...

[Canada is honestly at a loss for how to react in this situation, but company can't be too bad, right? ...He hopes.]

B-bait?! Isn't that a bit extreme? I think we can just follow the route that way. I heard it's a few days for a trip to the next city...

[COMPLETELY IGNORING CANADA'S CORRECTION AND SUGGESTION]

Son, you would think getting too much MAPLE SYRUP on your fluffy little buttermilk PANCAKES is extreme! And I'm here to tell you that American extreme would have a LIVE GRENADE stuffed in the pancake! And the syrup would be ENGINE OIL! And now I am hungry.

[Pulling his backpack out of the crude 'foxhole' he dug with his hands and some sticks, he equipped it, then got into Canada's face.]

I've received orders from higher in command that we need to follow the route THAT WAY, and we need to do so PRONTO. ASAP. DOUBLE TIME. Do you read me, ROOKIE?

[Not bothering to wait for a response, he begins marching off briskly.]

Men... MOVE OUT!

Edited 2012-08-22 23:32 (UTC)

My name is Canada!

[Can't you at least call him by it!! And he never got Soldier's name, come to think of it... He should give this guy a what for, bossing him around like this!

...

He starts walking after to follow, picking up Maple in the process.]

Um... I mean I understand, sir. What was your name again?

[~~WOW WHAT A PANSY~~ He turns on Canada, going all drill sergeant on his face]

You will refer to me as BLU SOLDIER. AKA SOLDIER. AKA Mister Jane Doe. AKA your worst nightmare. Do you read me, Cantalope!

Eeeeeek!

[STOP GETTING ALL CLOSE TO HIS FACE. He sort of stumbles back and raises his hands defensively.]

I-it's Canada! I mean, yes sir! Mr. Soldier sir!

[Cobra’s just staring at his feed for a few moments before saying anything. He hasn’t seen anything quite like this since well, back in his world.]

The creatures in the grass aren’t a part of any guerrilla force! And thisss isn’t a training exercise either!

[Soldier nearly drops his Pokegear in surprise as it began talking to him. He gives Cobra's upside down visage a hard stare.]

Administrator? Is that you? [No, it can't be her, she doesn't have a blank, metal mask for a face, and she certainly doesn't hang around upside down. He jabs a finger threateningly at Cobra.]

Who are YOU and how do you know about all of that! ... Wait a second... I think you might be another spy, sent to MESS with my MIND! Well, tough luck, lady, you'll have to try harder to fool an AMERICAN!

I'm not a sssspy! I am Cobra Commander, and you're an American? I should have known! I knew it was only a matter of time before a member of the American military showed up here! What branch are you?

Edited 2012-08-22 04:25 (UTC)

Cobra Commander? As in commander of Coastal Battlefield Reconnaissance and Analysis? [Oh JOY did he gain contact with a soldier from the U.S.? He seemed pretty excited to see Soldier too.] Great to hear from you, SIR!

I am part of the... [Uh oh.] ... branch of military that deals with hill defense, SIR! And boy, it is hell out here, SIR! I require assistance to hold this hill... [The man continues rambling on about how there were children who needed haircuts standing around outside the town and threw little red and white balls at him when he passed and hippie music was playing nonstop and it might be in his head was this a mindtrick of the enemy--]

-- and that is how I discovered digesting ribs is a must for all Americans! Now, were you able to uncover any more information on my current situation, SIR!

The what?

[Wait, does this guy actually think Cobra Commander's part of whatever that is? Hmm. He can use that.]

I mean yesss, that's exactly who I am! And-

[And then Cobra Commander got a little lost during that rant.]

I believe I can shed ssssome light on your situation though. You've been, how shall I put this, deployed here for an indefinite amount of time. Communication with HQ is imposssible, and there will be no supply drops.

[Deployment with no end in sight? No communication with The Powers That Be? No supply drops?

Sounds like his old job with Blutarch Mann. Soldier's Pokemon, Spy, noticed him having a rather animated conversation with his Pokegear and slowly walked over.]

Yes, yes, I'm familiar with the old routine... uh SIR! So what am I fighting here, more REDs? Commies? Nazis? Hippies? Robots?

For now, you'll be fighting the creatures you mistook for a guerrilla force, and the people who train them, You can recruit any you find in the wild to sssssupport your cause.

Your next objective should be Cherrygrove City. It's about ssseveral days hiking distance from your current position. You can rest and resupply there.

Edited 2012-08-22 20:03 (UTC)

[As his 'mission' was outlined, Soldier stroked his chin and grinned evilly.]

Beat the CRAP out of everyone we come across... got it! I won't let you down, Mister Hissing No-Face SIR!

[The feed is abruptly and rudely ended as Soldier closes the Pokegear and tosses it into the jumbled contents of his backpack. Soldier begins to prepare to leave and kick ass when his encounter with Canada happens.]

[ Here comes Mami, putting on an imitation of a very deep voice ~~and ready to troll~~. ]

I hear ya, soldier! It's a battlefield out there, but the best course of action is to not retreat! I repeat, do not retreat! Are you armed? How much ammo do you have? If you haven't any, that Pokemon with you has got your 6, if you know how to command it!

[ And then with the help of her Chimchar, she makes some war noises along with a "Stand strong, men! Do not fall back!" in the background for effect! ]

Report on your status as soon as possible, soldier! This is Captain Futami, over and out!

[What? His video diary was talking back? Ah, that didn't matter, his signal was clearly picked up by someone AMERICAN!]

Understood, SIR! Spy's got the perimeter covered-- [Soldier peeked out again at his Sawk, who was scratching at an itch on the back of its leg; flashing him a thumbs up, Soldier leaned back into his hiding spot.] -- but we're both unarmed, SIR! I've got a trusty boot itching to kick some asses though, SIR!

[What? Command his Pokey-mon? Standing up, Soldier shouted "DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!", at which Spy looked at him for a second, then casually began doing push-ups. Well, that was easy!]

We've got everything under control, SIR! BLU Soldier over and out!

Well then, put that boot to use, soldier! However, as there are civilians around as well as other innocent alien animals known as Pokemon, hold your fire if necessary! Do you copy?? Another thing - never leave your partner and fellow soldiers behind! We have a mission to accomplish, soldier!

[ "Boom! Kapoosh!" ]

Heard, understood, and acknowledged - keep it that way, soldier! Oh, and report back on your current base and location! Captain Futami, over and out!

[Soldier simply and rather gleefully responded "YESSIR" to all of the commands he was issued. What, he wasn't going to question what mission he was supposed to accomplish?

Nahhh. All the war noises was getting Soldier caught up in how PATRIOTIC and AMERICAN this Captain Futami was.]

Understood, SIR! Er, well... I am stationed in a foxhole outside of some small pathetic excuse for a city called BARK TOWN, SIR!

...

Do you happen to know if there is any way to get rid of the constant hippie music, SIR! BLU Soldier over and out!

Understood! Now listen closely soldier, if you're in New Bark Town, that means you've only just started on your mission! Your next course of action is to move and head to the next city, where an army base and a military quarters is stationed! Head over there fast, soldier! We need you alive! [ By military quarters, she means an inn, of course. But that'd be no fun, would it? ]

Unfortunately, that constant hippie music is the enemy's way to distract us from our mission, and there is no way as of yet to get rid of it. But we will not be swayed by such music! We shall prevail and victory will be ours!

[Now THIS is what Soldier needed! An important mission that must be executed in a timely manner all the while fighting through field of tall grass teeming with ~~hippies~~ Pokemon. With any luck, it'd be all uphill towards the next city as well, and there would be some jumping-on-grenades involved.]

Got it, Video Diary-- I mean SIR! They are all maggots hatched from mutant maggot eggs! [Soldier dramatically begins waving around and jabbing at the device.] They'll be no match against ME! I will strike the fear of Amer--

[BEEP! The rest of Soldier's heartfelt and crazed patriotic speech was cut off as he accidentally closes the feed. Children and Pokemon alike beware! A dangerous force has been given purpose and set loose amongst you!]

[When Pauling goes to check the network to resume her usual lurk-until-an-informational-post-comes-up tactics of browsing. What she hadn't expected was to hear the familiar voice through the 'gear.

She watches eagerly, marvelling at the spectacle. Scout taking to animals is understandable, the boy not being too far from the regular, angered citizens of his home-place... but Soldier? No, this can't end well.]

[She supposes it has gotten too quiet around here.

She switches on the video, ready to babysit once more. Although, she looks a little different from usual, her skin still being a little icy-layered and her hair long and purple; the little horn on the top of her forehead is still there too.

Other than that, she sounds and acts fine.]

They're Pokémon, Mr. Doe.

((ooc; there was a plot and she got a bit... mutated. her features are less now, but similar to these))

Edited 2012-08-22 10:08 (UTC)

[Whoa WHAT IS THAT-- Soldier just stops and stares at Miss Pauling's upside down and slightly Pokemonified face; she seemed familiar somehow. Recovering quickly, he jabs a finger at her face.]

I already know that, strangely familiar ice unicorn! The enemy disguise themselves as mutant creatures and call themselves Poke-ay-mon, and get children to play dress up games with them! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go now and bury my war-foot so far up their asses it will be a foot and a HALF UP THEIR ASSES!

[The Pokegear clatters to the ground, looking up at Solder to see that he had blades of long grass waving under any straps of his uniform that he could find.] Spy! Let's move out!

[Strangely familiar Ice Unicorn? She knows she looks different, but... oh well, it is Soldier.]

Um, it's Miss Pauling.

The enemies are mutant creatures.

[He... he called his Pokémon Spy? She's not entirely surprised that Soldier named his weapon force after his teammates, actually.

She's just going to watch though, because oh my this could be interesting. Just going to scribble everything on the clipboard...]

[DOUBLE TAKE ON THAT Miss Pauling???

... Soldier seems to readily accept this and her information despite her appearance, and picks up the Pokegear again.]

Is there a reason you resemble the enemy, lady?

Wait... you're disguising yourself as the enemy to blend in, right? [Great idea! Soldier wonders if he can pull something off with all these grass on him...]

[ . . . that's kind of amusing. she's not laughing, though, but by the smile on her face... it's obvious she finds this a bit interesting. ]

Ambushed? My, that sounds dangerous.

[If Soldier was perturbed by an upside down face suddenly appearing on his 'alien device', he did not show it as he jabbed a finger at the new face meaningfully.]

You can BET your floppy DUMBO ears that it was dangerous! And scary! And maybe a little confusing! But mostly dangerous.

I wouldn't call them floppy, exactly.

[ ... she pauses a little there, but the smile still stays. well, blunt. she could. deal with that. ]

And those "ambushes" happen quite frequently here. I'd get used to them.

You mean those AMBUSHES better get used to ME. Before I'm done with them, they'll be--

[Wait a second]

What do you mean you WOULDN'T call the FLIPPERS sticking out of your head FLOPPY? I refuse to believe that those things are anything BUT FLOPPY!

I'd be a little concerned if I didn't know how they were.

[ calmly, calmly. ]

They're attached, after all.

Oh.

[Soldier looked as though he was going to argue that, then surprisingly dropped it.]

Well then, little lady, looks like you got it all figured out... What else do your apparently-not-floppy ears know?

Judith is fine.

[ she hadn't though he'd drop it so quickly, but her tone picks up amusement as he does. ]

But I know a fair bit, I think. It depends on what you're asking.

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[Video] Sorry for the late! I'll try and get this thread tagged during hiatus still.

[Video] it's okay haha

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