VIDEO_DIARY_002 [ video ]
Aug. 25th, 2012 06:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
screamingeagles[A video feed pops open, amazingly now displaying Soldier's face upright; there is a a triumphant grin on his face that would look nothing less than terrifying if the martial art black belt tied around his helmet didn't add a comical element. Actually... maybe it made him look more demented than anything.]
At ease, video diary. Great progress for America has been made, as I have reached my first objective: CHERRYGROVE! [The Pokegear shakes and turns as Soldier pauses to fish something out of his backpack, then stabilizes to show him holding 3 hats in one fist.]
I've also got myself here some trophies from dominating THE ENEMY as they tried to sabotage my MISSION! Little bastards though little bits of paper would divert my wrath, but they were WRONG! [Soldier suddenly pauses to glance at someone off screen.] Instead, it was... uh... [He leans over, and a bit of Canada's face can be seen as Soldier asks for his name.]
I'm Ca-na-da!!!
RIGHT, Canopy here that convinced me to have mercy on their PATHETIC SOULS, so instead... I took their HATS! And if they weren't wearing a hat, I took their bits of paper! Many victories were had the past four days, video diary; the enemy is clearly unprepared for me.
[Soldier would continue rambling on to his device about how the 'enemy' did not do enough push ups or jumping on live grenades or taking bullets to their lungs while defending a hill, and thus were nothing but maggots and etc. etc. Eventually he would make his way into the Poke Center, and, promptly forgetting that he was keeping a video diary, puts it in his pocket and beginsyelling talking to the nurse at the front desk:] BLU Soldier reporting for duty; do you have my next orders, MA'AM!
At ease, video diary. Great progress for America has been made, as I have reached my first objective: CHERRYGROVE! [The Pokegear shakes and turns as Soldier pauses to fish something out of his backpack, then stabilizes to show him holding 3 hats in one fist.]
I've also got myself here some trophies from dominating THE ENEMY as they tried to sabotage my MISSION! Little bastards though little bits of paper would divert my wrath, but they were WRONG! [Soldier suddenly pauses to glance at someone off screen.] Instead, it was... uh... [He leans over, and a bit of Canada's face can be seen as Soldier asks for his name.]
I'm Ca-na-da!!!
RIGHT, Canopy here that convinced me to have mercy on their PATHETIC SOULS, so instead... I took their HATS! And if they weren't wearing a hat, I took their bits of paper! Many victories were had the past four days, video diary; the enemy is clearly unprepared for me.
[Soldier would continue rambling on to his device about how the 'enemy' did not do enough push ups or jumping on live grenades or taking bullets to their lungs while defending a hill, and thus were nothing but maggots and etc. etc. Eventually he would make his way into the Poke Center, and, promptly forgetting that he was keeping a video diary, puts it in his pocket and begins
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-27 11:54 pm (UTC)... Okay, then when are you from?
Have you never seen a dollar bill before?
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-28 06:46 am (UTC)[At the mention of dollar bills, Soldier rummages in his pack and pulls out a Pokedollar. He stares hard at it before staring at Heather.]
Have YOU never seen a dollar bill before, blondie? 'Cause I've seen plenty of good, American dollar bills, and I can tell you THIS [he waves it at the Pokegear] is NOT a dollar bill and most certainly not American.
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-28 03:39 pm (UTC)... Did anyone even tell you where we were?
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-28 08:08 pm (UTC)I already know where 'we' are! I've been deployed on a MISSION here in Cherrygrove, and YOU are in my video diary!
[Makes perfect sense, right? Right.]
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-29 10:47 pm (UTC)[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-30 12:29 am (UTC)just kidding the Cow Mangler's a horrible weaponSoldier's logic is absolutely flawless. In his own mind.][ video ]
Date: 2012-08-30 02:49 am (UTC)... The Cow Mangler?
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-30 08:52 am (UTC)... That's just all science talk for "It kills the enemy!"
[ video ]
Date: 2012-08-31 03:41 pm (UTC)[That sounds.... INCREDIBLY unpleasant.]
... Why the fuck would you go around .... 'disentangling' cows and sheep?
[ video ] ahh I'm so sorry, I'm new to DW and... isn't it supposed to notify you of responses??
Date: 2012-09-11 08:36 pm (UTC)Don't fret, lady, that's just stuff they say to sell their guns faster. It does a FINE job dealing with the last two parts of its description though!
[ video ]
Date: 2012-09-14 03:53 am (UTC)... Okay, wait, I get it.
You're a psycho.
[ video ]
Date: 2012-09-15 07:54 am (UTC)What! I'm not a psycho! I am a man, a soldier who knows how to best kill the enemy!
[ video ]
Date: 2012-09-15 09:46 pm (UTC)Being male and a soldier doesn't automatically make you not a psycho, buddy.
[ video ]
Date: 2012-09-15 10:16 pm (UTC)[Soldier is NOT crazy! Sure, he had holes installed in his door so that he could snap the necks of people knocking at it
and seven locks on his door
and lived off of army surplus soup
... and had a magician for a roommate before said roommate kicked him out BUT HE ISN'T CRAZY]
I am a man who loves and would die for America, lady! And if that's crazy, then you must NOT BE AMERICAN!
[His yelling again at his device is beginning to draw attention again from some angry residents of Cherrygrove...]
[ video ]
Date: 2012-09-16 06:30 am (UTC)[... Well... you know... until she'd come to Johto two years ago, anyway...]
I'm a SANE American.